i cannot move. i feel as if i am frozen in space.

although it doesn't particularly matter. it is of no importance. some could say it doesn't matter at all.

im listening to the daughter of darkness album right now. aptly named. i will always be the naked and forlorn child.

such a good album. such grief. i consider leaving you. i only stay out of maternal instincts. the only reason i stayed with A as well. and we all know how that turned out.

the truth is i do not want to be with you. i know it will rob me of the one thing i hyperfixated on my entire life. bruise me until i am limp, bleeding and docile. the last great tribe of the northern sky. i do wonder what is happening with the world and whether or not everything is as fantastic as it seems.

i am in a trance. stuck in a dream. and it's okay. i the desire machine.